Happy New Year, Seattle! We’re throwing out 2018 like yesterday’s compost and looking forward to 2019 as a year of positive changes. As always, there are several fun and exciting events happening around the city this month, so we’ve prepared a list of our favorites for your consideration:
Tuesday, January 1 - Strong Ale Fest @ The Beer Junction
Our pot shop is closed on January 1st in observance of New Year’s Day, so we won’t be around to talk numbers. If you still feel the compulsive urge to talk someone’s ear off about percentages, consider checking out the Strong Ale Fest instead; they’ll have seventeen beers testing between 10% and 17% ABV!
January 2-31 (M-F) - Meghan Elizabeth Trainor: Witancræftlic @ M. Rosetta Hunter Gallery
Even when she goes by her middle name to try and differentiate herself, local artist Meghan Elizabeth Trainor still has the misfortune of sharing her full name with the gal who sings “All About That Bass.” I’m sure she’s doing fine though— her artwork is dope, and she managed to lock down meghantrainor.com 4 years before the pop singer did (the other Meghan had to put a hyphen in her domain, hahaha). Anyway, stop by the free gallery at South Seattle Community College and check out her unique works of art that combine folk lore, electronics, and witchcraft.
Thursday, January 3 - Weed School: Fairwinds @ Herbn Elements
Class is in session! Our friends from Fairwinds will be here from 4-7pm to talk about their CBD-rich and Department of Health certified products including their popular FLOW gel and their CBD Ratio cartridges. All their products will be 20% off while they’re here!
Thursday, January 3 - First Thursday Art Walk @ Pioneer Square
It’s the first Thursday of the month! That means it’s time to puff on your vape pen and wander around the art galleries of Pioneer Square. Parking is free at participating garages.
Friday, January 4 - I Hate Models @ Kremwerk
I’ll be honest... I’ve never been more confused as to which electronic artists are musicians, which ones are legit DJs, and which ones just press play and dance in front of their laptop. I couldn’t tell you which category French EBM artist I Hate Models falls under, but we're thankful budtender Pete turned us on to him, and we’re looking forward to his first show in Seattle!
January 4-5 - Big Ass Boombox Festival @ The Crocodile
Hear new music and check out local bands at the 6th annual Big Ass Boombox Festival! This free event spans 2 days and 3 stages, so there’s no harm in checking it out even for just an hour.
Saturday, January 5 - Bigwig Donuts Pop-up @ La Marzocco Cafe
Oregon’s best donut holes are coming to Seattle for one day! Bigwig Donuts are vegan and gluten-free, so hopefully Andrea and Meredith will bring back enough to share with the rest of the store (hint hint).
Tuesday, January 8 - Lake City Book Release @ Third Place Books Lake Forest Park
Local travel writer Thomas Kohnstamm is releasing his first novel on January 8th, and it just so happens to be set in [and named after] good ol’ Lake City! We’re expecting Rick’s, Tub’s Gourmet Subs, and/or the numerous auto dealerships to get a mention, but the story is set in 2001, so unfortunately Lake City’s favorite marijuana dispensary won’t be in there. Order a signed copy of Lake City from Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park and meet the author!
Thursday, January 10 - The Gateway Show @ Bites of Bangkok
Have you ever seen Drunk History? That show where comedians get shwasted then try and recount historical events? The Gateway Show is kind of like that, but with weed instead of booze and jokes instead of history. Four comedians come out sober and deliver their best set, then they leave to get really stoned and come back to [try and] deliver more jokes. The results are hilarious, especially for the comics who don’t smoke.
January 10-12 - Steve Byrne @ Parlor Live Comedy Club Bellevue
You have two options: you can venture all the way to Bellevue for a comedy routine by the half-Korean and half-white comedian Steve Byrne, of you can stop by our pot shop during the day and hear a free (and more awkward) version of the same set from budtender Daniel. If it makes your decision easier, we can assure you that Steve Byrne will not be selling weed during his set.
January 11 - The Crystal Method @ Substation
Electronic legend(s) The Crystal Method is holding an intimate performance at Substation for people like Pete and I who have been fans of theirs since we were teens. Famously a duo, the current iteration of The Crystal Method is now a solo project, but that’s OK because all the music has already been made and I’m pretty sure The Method falls under that “press play and dance in front of a laptop” category anyway.
Saturday, January 12 - A Closer Look: Glassblowing @ Chihuly Garden and Glass
The next time you take a rip from your bong, or dab rig, or pipe, I want you to inhale deeply and contemplate how your piece came to be. Ponder the fact that some dude wearing a pendant had to blow molten glass to create this functional form of art, and consider how abstract the concept of glassblowing is when you’re faded. As far as I know, the experts at Chihuly Garden and Glass don’t make cannabis paraphernalia, but a morning glassblowing demonstration after a wake and bake sesh sounds like a fun way to start the weekend!
Sunday, January 13 - Make Your Own Font Party @ Push/Pull
We geeks live amongst you; we breathe your air, smoke your weed, and design your graphics. Join the typography geeks of Seattle to learn how to make a font based on your own handwriting, then come home with a Truetype file of your new font! I’m gonna call mine “I'm Not a Serial Killer, I Just Write Like One."
January 13-15 - When Women Ruled the World @ Benaroya Hall
Hosted by professor and Egyptologist Dr. Kara Cooney, this live event produced by National Geographic discusses powerful women like Cleopatra and Nefertiti who lead ancient Egypt to become one of the most advanced civilizations of the time. Great inspiration for anyone preparing for this year’s Womxn’s March!
Tuesday, January 15 - Stuff You Should Know @ Moore Theater
Join podcast pioneers Josh Clark and Charles W. “Chuck” Bryant as they sip beer, eat edibles, and record a live episode of their incredibly popular Stuff You Should Know series. The subject of the episode will be a pleasant surprise for attendees, but the last time I caught Josh & Chuck they did a great show about the DB Cooper heist.
Thursday, January 17 - Nocturnal Emissions: Phantasm @ Northwest Film Forum
Honestly, I'm only mentioning this event for SEO purposes, just because I want this article to rank #1 when anyone Googles “cannabis to treat nocturnal emissions.” Kidding.
Hosted by podcaster Isabella Price, the Nocturnal Emissions series kicks off with the horror/ sci-fi classic, Phantasm. Enjoy a burlesque performance and free shots of embalming fluid before the feature.
Friday, January 18 - YG @ WaMu Theater
In addition to keeping gangsta rap alive and writing one of the catchiest rap songs of the decade, rapper YG gets points with me for his eloquent critique of our current Commander in Chief. Catch YG at WaMu Theater (but don’t wear blue).
Saturday, January 19 - Iliza @ The Moore Theater
Formerly known by her full name— Iliza Shlesinger— the first female winner of Last Comic Standing has refined her feminism laden humor and embraced her role as “Elder Millennial.” Her previous Seattle performance was scheduled for October, but it got pushed back to January due to unforeseen scheduling conflicts.
Saturday, January 19 - Womxn’s March 2019
I’m not going to mansplain why the Womxn’s March is important (or why womxn is spelled with an “x”)… all I’m going to say is to pick up a pack of joints, come up with a clever picket sign, then meet me and the resistance at Cal Anderson Park. The rally will end at Seattle Center, where there will be activism workshops to educate and inspire marchers to push the movement forward.
Monday, January 21 - Weed School: Harmony Farms @ Herbn Elements
Class is in session! Our friends from Harmony Farms will be here from 4-7pm on Monday, January 21st to talk about their tasty indoor buds. All their products will be 20% off all day!
Thursday, January 24 - Weed School: Green Revolution @ Herbn Elements
Class is in session! The team from Green Revolution will be here from 4 to 7pm to talk about their tinctures & topicals. All their products will be 15% off while they're here!
Thursday, January 24 - Andre Nickatina @ The Showbox
There are a lot of great rappers out there, but only one is secure enough to meow like a cat instead of doing a hook. Fire up the blunts and don’t miss the 6’5” devil’s son at The Showbox! If you’re a fan of Bay Area rap, you’ll definitely want to read about the Hyphy dance party at Neumo’s this month (scroll down).
Friday, January 25 - Masquerade @ Century Ballroom
Did you ever see Eyes Wide Shut? I assume this masquerade is gonna be exactly like that, though all the people in the video from last year’s masquerade are fully clothed. In addition to a promise of "Mystery, Hijinks, Wonder, Romance & Dancing,” the event website specifies that “the Masquerade is not a 'couples dance.' Indeed, the point of a Masquerade is to dance with numerous partners, known or unknown, and then see what transpires while dancing in dis-guise. Because you can never be sure what will happen – when you or your partners are set free by those magical masks.”
If it’s not an orgy, they certainly make it sound like one.
Saturday, January 26 - Hyphy: Bay Area Hip Hop Dance Party @ Neumo's
At least 5 of our employees are from the San Francisco Bay Area, so we have to mention the Hyphy dance party at Neumo’s! Practice your thizz face and get ready to dance to tracks by Too $hort, Mac Dre, and [hopefully] Keak da Sneak too.
Thursday, January 31 - Weed School: Artizen @ Herbn Elements
Class is in session! Our new friends from Artizen will be in the shop from 4 to 7pm to talk about their flavorful and consistent indoor buds, prerolls, and cartridges. Get an Artizen joint for $3 with the purchase of any Artizen product (limit 2 per person)!
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That’s all we have for January! Our recreational/ medical pot store is located at 11013 Lake City Way NE, so come by and see us the next time you’re in the Lake City area.
Article by Ramsey Doudar; an in-house marketing and social media strategist at Herbn Elements. His perspective is influenced by 2 years of budtending, 5 years as a cannabis industry marketing professional, and 10+ years of being a super picky medical patient.